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  • A Letter from Goldman Sachs

    A Letter from Goldman Sachs

    A Letter from Goldman Sachs

    Concerning Occupy Wall Street

    NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)– The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs:

    goldman

    Dear Investor:

    Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street. That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds. As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan, passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests. And we have asked ourselves this question:

    How can we make money off them?

    The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world. At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain – but there’s plenty of money to be made on the way down.

    The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages. Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.

    It would be tempting, at a time like this, to say “Let them eat cake.” But at Goldman, we are actively seeking to corner the market in cake futures. We project that through our aggressive market manipulation, the price of a piece of cake will quadruple by the end of 2011.

    Please contact your Goldman representative for a full prospectus. As the world descends into a Darwinian free-for-all, the Goldman Sachs Rage Fund is a great way to tell the protesters, “Occupy this.” We haven’t felt so good about something we’ve sold since our souls.

    Sincerely,

    Lloyd Blankfein

    Chairman, Goldman Sachs

    via A Letter from Goldman Sachs « Borowitz Report.

  • Goldman to Acquire Aksa Stake in Turkey for $450 Million

    Goldman to Acquire Aksa Stake in Turkey for $450 Million

    Goldman SachsGoldman Sachs Group Inc. agreed to buy 26.5 percent of Aksa Enerji Uretim AS, one of Turkey’s two biggest power producers, for about $450 million, driving a record gain in the utility’s shares.

    Goldman Sachs will pay 5.05 liras ($2.94) a share to Aksa’s parent company, Kazanci Holding AS, which will invest the proceeds in power generation, Aksa Chairman Cemil Kazanci said today by telephone. “The price isn’t certain and could change at the closing of the transaction,” he said.

    Turkey’s energy industry is luring international companies as electricity demand is set to grow by an average 6.3 percent over the next 20 years, Hasan Koktas, head of the energy-market regulator, said June 15. Italy’s Ansaldo STS SpA won a 640 million-euro ($919 million) order for an 865-megawatt plant this month. Austria’s Verbund AG and OMV AG, Germany’s RWE AG and U.S.-based AES Corp. have also bought power assets in Turkey.

    Goldman Sachs loaned Kazanci Holding $192 million as part of the transaction, Kazanci said. The holding company pledged 43 percent of Aksa shares as collateral for the loan, which has a maturity of a year and one week, he said.

    Goldman Sachs’s offer represents a 22 percent premium to Aksa’s volume-weighted average share price over the 20 days through July 22, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Aksa rose 33 kurus, or 8.7 percent, to 4.14 liras at the 5:30 p.m. close in Istanbul, the biggest one-day gain since the stock started trading in May 2010.

    Debt Payments

    Aksa expects the deal to close in September. Kazanci Holding will use a “large part” of the proceeds to pay its debts to Aksa, Zeynep Karaman, an analyst at BGC Partners Istanbul, said by telephone.

    In April, Kazanci Holding applied to the Istanbul Stock Exchange to sell 68.9 million shares in Aksa, or an 11.9 percent stake, on the bourse. The stock slumped 13 percent in the following three months.

    “I don’t think Kazanci has given up on its plan for a secondary share sale at Aksa, but this plan has put pressure on the stock price,” according to Karaman, who recommends buying Aksa shares. “Now that overhang seems to be going away.”

    Aksa, based in Istanbul, has power-generation capacity in excess of 1,500 megawatts, Kazanci said, adding that it will “soon” rise to 2,000 megawatts. Competitor Enerjisa, a venture owned by Verbund and Turkey’s Haci Omer Sabanci Holding AS, has a capacity of 1,557 megawatts, according to its website.

    Bloomberg